Why relationships fail is a complicated topic, but here are five top reasons
It’s a fact that 50% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. This is not a happy situation to find yourself experiencing. Many people don’t even have a good understanding as to what exactly happened. In such cases, history does tend to repeat. Understanding why relationships fail can make your next romantic interest a winner.
When we enter into relationships, everything is just too wonderful for words. You’ve found the love of your life and you’ll surely live happily ever after. While there are probably as many individual circumstances as there are couples, why relationships fail might generally be categorized into five general areas.
Rare is the teen or young adult who is developmentally ready for marriage. A young man or woman might be ready in their mid to late twenties, when they’ve gained some personal experience in relationships sufficient to make a choice of a mate for a lifetime. Nonetheless, lots of people marry young, but so often end up divorced, just because they were too young.
In other cases, one or another of the parties has unrealistic expectations of the love of their life. Perhaps your guy thinks it’s a wonderful idea that you support him through medical school, so you can then begin your lovely life together sooner and in a fine financial position. This type of fantasy is a common reason why relationships fail, almost out of the starting gate. It may sound good now, but it won’t wear well. It’s unrealistic to believe this arrangement won’t lead to resentment, jealousy and fights over never spending time together. Analyze your expectations to determine if you’re on sound ground.
Among those expectations, is there some ‘little fault’ of your beloved’s that you’re now willing to overlook, but which in fact drives you crazy? For example, does she spend all her money on clothes? Do you think she’s going to change? Not likely. Does he flirt with every girl he sees? Do you have the idea that you are the one who’s going to bring that all to an end? Dream on. Your sweetheart may have just this one thing ‘wrong’ with them, but if you can’t put up with it for the rest of your life, you may want to stay single for a while. Believing you can change someone to be the way you want them to be is a major, major, reason why relationships fail.
Fights over money account for more failed relationships than almost any other reason. Ideally, money management should be a shared responsibility, so you’re both on the same page about what you have and don’t have. Too often, when one person is in charge of the finances, the spouse is clueless and the spending reflects this. When the money manager announces, “No, we can’t do that”, the fight ensues. Both people also have to really buy in to the ‘for better or for worse’ part of the vows, because life changes.
One of the oddest, yet most common reasons why relationships fail is for a mere lack of communication. Plenty of couples get stuck in a rut, where every day is much like another. Such a relationship quickly stales. You’ve got to surprise each other every now and then. Spend time talking about more than the weather and where you put his socks. It may sound like it would never happen to you, but it happens every day. Take her to the concert she’s been dying to attend. Book a room at a fishing resort for the weekend and go catch a big bass.
If you were to name a single, comprehensive reason for why relationships fail, it might be for lack of kindness and honesty with one another.